Tiki-Torch Filler Had No Idea What March Was About
Charlottesville, VA - 23-year-old Zach Lee, recent graduate of Eastern Mennonite University, pled for forgiveness Sunday following the publication of photos from the August...
President Denounces Hate On All Sides Of Hate Crime
Bedminster, NJ - With golf course flags at half-mast, the President of the United States unequivocally denounced the barbarous violence perpetrated by all sides...
HBO Promises More Diversity In Season 8 Of Game of Thrones
In response to a recent barrage of criticism regarding the lack of diversity found on hit show Game of thrones, HBO head of programming...
Woman Finds Unsolicited Dick-Pic Surprisingly Fetching
Los Angeles, CA - In stark contrast to the countless unrequested penile photographs with which she was previously inundated, local hostess Sarah Halicki was...
Delusional Narcissistic Autocrat With Awful Haircut Threatens Nuclear Attack
Earth - Financial markets fell world-wide Tuesday following threats of nuclear attack made by an utterly delusional world leader with an awful haircut who...
New Breed of Cat Designed To Be As Ugly As Human...
Old Lady’s Basement, OH - Long sought after as the apex of pet-breeding, elite breeders Schroder & Simmons announced Tuesday they have successfully bred...
Trump Boys Plan Epic White House Rager While Dad Out of...
Washington D.C. - As their father prepared to leave on a 17-day golf vacation Friday evening, Eric and Donald Trump Jr. commenced detailed planning...
Mother Earth Impatiently Awaits Human Extinction; Needs Some Time To Herself
Olduvai Gorge, Tanzania - During a tearful visit to the place she first met mankind, Mother Earth announced Tuesday that she has given up...
Woman Who Ignored Man Telling Her To Smile, A Fucking Bitch...
PHILADELPHIA, PA - Multiple Temple University students reported a disturbing incident of on-campus rudeness Friday afternoon. At least three sources confirmed that Brad Whiting,...
Women With Breast Implants Insecure Says Man With $90,000 Mercedes
Santa Monica, CA - Local attorney Jason Koh delighted colleagues Monday with his witty and acerbic take on the inherent insecurity of women who...