Heroic Veteran Of The War On Christmas Refuses To Take Down...

Birmingham, AL - Proud republican husband, father, and veteran of the ongoing War On Christmas, William Allen inspired Christians nationwide with his announcement Tuesday...

Haiti Issues Travel Ban On All ‘Shithole Presidents’

Port-au-Prince, Haiti - Haitian President Jovenel Moise stunned the international community Friday with the issuance of an executive order barring the entry of any...

Steve Bannon Diagnosed With PTSD After Accidentally Pressing #2 For Spanish...

Beverly Hills, CA - Renowned Psychiatrist Dr. Bernard Neagle confirmed Wednesday that recently fired Breitbart chief and former Whitehouse advisor Steve Bannon has indeed been...

Bannon Resigns From Breitbart To Spend More Time With Scotch

Brentwood, CA - Breitbart News Executive Chair and controversial right-wing firebrand Steve Bannon resigned Tuesday in the wake of the publication of a new...

New iPhone OS Terms And Conditions Contract To Offer “Agree To...

In an apparent effort to appease unhappy iPhone users off-put by some of the more draconian clauses hidden in the most recent update of...

8 Hacks For Flying Spirit This Holiday Season (That They Don’t...

Spirit Airlines? More like Break-My-Spirit Airlines! But if you find yourself traveling on this bare-bones, no frills, meat shipment tube version of unprepared Top...

Local Man Genuinely Likes His Drug Dealer’s Band

Detroit, MI - After months of deliberately avoiding listening to his drug dealer's demo, local barber Chris Delaponte reported Tuesday he was stunned to...

ISIS Adresses Declining Martyr Recruitment By Upping Reward From 72 to...

In an unexpected and possibly desperate move, ISIS announced Wednesday that it is increasing its standard offer of 72 post-martyrdom virgins to a whopping...

Jon Gruden Spends Afternoon At Zoo Giving Expert Breakdowns of Various...

Tampa, Fla - A delighted crowd looked on Saturday as Monday Night Football color analyst Jon Gruden spent the better part of an afternoon...

Tarantino Quits Star Trek Project After Learning N-word No Longer Used...

Los Angeles, CA - Citing a lack of creative freedom, super-star director Quentin Tarantino abruptly pulled out of the planned next installment of the...