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CEO Resigns After Eating Cathy’s Lunch
Shares of moist towelette manufacturer Whette Inc. fell 9% Thursday on news that co-founder and long-time CEO Eric Rhodes resigned after being caught eating...
EPA Goes On Bender; Drunk-Dials Ex
Washington D.C. - After months of escalating abuse, friends and family of the EPA reported Thursday that the agency finally snapped and went on...
Local Man Only Needs One More Bump
Chicago, IL - As the sun began to rise over a decadent Bridgeport house party Saturday morning, local server Dylan Christensen reported tremendous certainty...
Trump Presents Putin With Ceremonial Seized Baby
Helsinki, Finland - In a grand diplomatic gesture unseen since ancient Aztec times, President Trump graciously gifted a recently seized 10-month-old Guatemalan baby to Russian President Vladamir...
Woman Finds Unsolicited Dick-Pic Surprisingly Fetching
Los Angeles, CA - In stark contrast to the countless unrequested penile photographs with which she was previously inundated, local hostess Sarah Halicki was...
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Adorable! Millions of Wild Rats Gather To Fuck At Sizzler While...
Tacoma, WA - While most restaurants remain open for delivery or takeout, many states have now ordered-closed all buffet-style dining establishments as...
Retail Center Declares Marshalls Law
Maddison, WI - In an effort to protect retail workers from throngs of middle-aged women taking advantage of designer products at sensible...
‘Avatar’ Sequels Suspend Filming In New Zealand After Testing Negative For...
Christ Church, New Zealand - Filming of James Cameron's long-in-the-works Avatar sequels came to an abrupt halt Monday amid fears that no...
President Comforts Nation With Fireside Tweets
Palm Beach, FL - In an effort to calm an increasingly panicked nation, President Trump announced Thursday his plan to address his...
Endorsement: Mike Bloomberg Is The Only Candidate With The Integrity And...
We at Whiskeyleaks have worked hard to establish a reputation for integrity and truth-seeking in our hard-hitting journalism. We've always found it...
Pence Confident Coronavirus Reversible With The Right Therapy
Washington, D.C. — In the midst of nerve-racking reports that a global pandemic is inevitable, President Trump announced Wednesday that Vice President...