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Trump Presents Putin With Ceremonial Seized Baby
Helsinki, Finland - In a grand diplomatic gesture unseen since ancient Aztec times, President Trump graciously gifted a recently seized 10-month-old Guatemalan baby to Russian President Vladamir...
Inspiring! US Announces Transition, Comes Out As Authoritarian Kleptocracy
After much speculation, The United States of America has officially come out as an Authoritarian Kleptocracy. In an interview with ABC News' Diane Sawyer...
Jon Gruden Spends Afternoon At Zoo Giving Expert Breakdowns of Various Animals
Tampa, Fla - A delighted crowd looked on Saturday as Monday Night Football color analyst Jon Gruden spent the better part of an afternoon...
McGregor Vows Not To Lose Decision By More Than 20 Points
“I’m the greatest MMA fighter of all time and I’ve recently learned the rules of boxing. There’s no way Floyd is gonna beat me by more than 20 points.”
Mercury In Retrograde, Widespread Bloodshed Inevitable
Earth – In yet more bad news for Earth, early this morning the planet Mercury went into retrograde. The unexpected shift in the forward motion...
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Adorable! Millions of Wild Rats Gather To Fuck At Sizzler While...
Tacoma, WA - While most restaurants remain open for delivery or takeout, many states have now ordered-closed all buffet-style dining establishments as...
Retail Center Declares Marshalls Law
Maddison, WI - In an effort to protect retail workers from throngs of middle-aged women taking advantage of designer products at sensible...
‘Avatar’ Sequels Suspend Filming In New Zealand After Testing Negative For...
Christ Church, New Zealand - Filming of James Cameron's long-in-the-works Avatar sequels came to an abrupt halt Monday amid fears that no...
President Comforts Nation With Fireside Tweets
Palm Beach, FL - In an effort to calm an increasingly panicked nation, President Trump announced Thursday his plan to address his...
Endorsement: Mike Bloomberg Is The Only Candidate With The Integrity And...
We at Whiskeyleaks have worked hard to establish a reputation for integrity and truth-seeking in our hard-hitting journalism. We've always found it...
Pence Confident Coronavirus Reversible With The Right Therapy
Washington, D.C. — In the midst of nerve-racking reports that a global pandemic is inevitable, President Trump announced Wednesday that Vice President...