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Mother Earth Impatiently Awaits Human Extinction; Needs Some Time To Herself
Olduvai Gorge, Tanzania - During a tearful visit to the place she first met mankind, Mother Earth announced Tuesday that she has given up...
McGregor Vows Not To Lose Decision By More Than 20 Points
“I’m the greatest MMA fighter of all time and I’ve recently learned the rules of boxing. There’s no way Floyd is gonna beat me by more than 20 points.”
Unemployed Screenwriter Puts Finishing Touches On 6th Draft of Oscar Acceptance Speech
North Hollywood, CA - Resisting the urge to work on his two unfinished feature screenplays, unemployed writer Mark Patterson polished off a stellar re-write...
Genius! This “Tinder For Incels” Will Stalk And Verbally Abuse Women BEFORE They...
Dating can be exhausting when you're an incel. After swiping left on 90 percent of Tinder profiles because the prospects are too fat, too...
Report: Dad’s Comments On Facebook Actually Pretty Funny
Cedar Park, TX - 15-year-old Ainsley Palmer was reportedly shocked Tuesday evening after discovering that her father’s comments on her Facebook post were actually...
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Adorable! Millions of Wild Rats Gather To Fuck At Sizzler While...
Tacoma, WA - While most restaurants remain open for delivery or takeout, many states have now ordered-closed all buffet-style dining establishments as...
Retail Center Declares Marshalls Law
Maddison, WI - In an effort to protect retail workers from throngs of middle-aged women taking advantage of designer products at sensible...
‘Avatar’ Sequels Suspend Filming In New Zealand After Testing Negative For...
Christ Church, New Zealand - Filming of James Cameron's long-in-the-works Avatar sequels came to an abrupt halt Monday amid fears that no...
President Comforts Nation With Fireside Tweets
Palm Beach, FL - In an effort to calm an increasingly panicked nation, President Trump announced Thursday his plan to address his...
Endorsement: Mike Bloomberg Is The Only Candidate With The Integrity And...
We at Whiskeyleaks have worked hard to establish a reputation for integrity and truth-seeking in our hard-hitting journalism. We've always found it...
Pence Confident Coronavirus Reversible With The Right Therapy
Washington, D.C. — In the midst of nerve-racking reports that a global pandemic is inevitable, President Trump announced Wednesday that Vice President...