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Local Man Genuinely Likes His Drug Dealer’s Band
Detroit, MI - After months of deliberately avoiding listening to his drug dealer's demo, local barber Chris Delaponte reported Tuesday he was stunned to...
Women With Breast Implants Insecure Says Man With $90,000 Mercedes
Santa Monica, CA - Local attorney Jason Koh delighted colleagues Monday with his witty and acerbic take on the inherent insecurity of women who...
Bernie Sanders Sends Back Soup
Burlington, Vermont - What started off as a perfectly normal Tuesday morning at the Main Street Delicatessen was turned upside down when U.S. Senator Bernie...
Stopping Priests From Molesting Children Conspicuously Absent From Church’s List of Pope’s Miracles
From the earliest days of Pope Francis' reign, saint watchers pegged the wildly popular pontiff as a strong candidate for eventual canonization. Las Vegas...
New Breed of Cat Designed To Be As Ugly As Human Baby
Old Lady’s Basement, OH - Long sought after as the apex of pet-breeding, elite breeders Schroder & Simmons announced Tuesday they have successfully bred...
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Adorable! Millions of Wild Rats Gather To Fuck At Sizzler While...
Tacoma, WA - While most restaurants remain open for delivery or takeout, many states have now ordered-closed all buffet-style dining establishments as...
Retail Center Declares Marshalls Law
Maddison, WI - In an effort to protect retail workers from throngs of middle-aged women taking advantage of designer products at sensible...
‘Avatar’ Sequels Suspend Filming In New Zealand After Testing Negative For...
Christ Church, New Zealand - Filming of James Cameron's long-in-the-works Avatar sequels came to an abrupt halt Monday amid fears that no...
President Comforts Nation With Fireside Tweets
Palm Beach, FL - In an effort to calm an increasingly panicked nation, President Trump announced Thursday his plan to address his...
Endorsement: Mike Bloomberg Is The Only Candidate With The Integrity And...
We at Whiskeyleaks have worked hard to establish a reputation for integrity and truth-seeking in our hard-hitting journalism. We've always found it...
Pence Confident Coronavirus Reversible With The Right Therapy
Washington, D.C. — In the midst of nerve-racking reports that a global pandemic is inevitable, President Trump announced Wednesday that Vice President...