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Mercury In Retrograde, Widespread Bloodshed Inevitable
Earth – In yet more bad news for Earth, early this morning the planet Mercury went into retrograde. The unexpected shift in the forward motion...
Breaking: Active Shooter In U.S.
United States - In the wake of reports of a mass shooting currently in progress since early Monday morning August 1st, 1966,...
STUDY: 58% of People At Your Office Have Fantasized About Killing You
Seattle, WA - An alarming new study published Thursday in the American Journal of Business Anthropology found that 58% of the people in your...
Twitter In Uproar After Majestic Cow Is Poached For Meat
Heilongjiang, China - A torrent of rage swirled through Twitter Saturday following news that American hunter Owen Jacobs and his son Owen Jr. illegally...
Nation’s Liberals Binge On Impeachment Porn
Minneapolis, MN - Shares of Pornhub rose 8% Friday as America's liberals continued their record-breaking consumption of VIVID MEDIA's newly released virtual reality porn...
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Adorable! Millions of Wild Rats Gather To Fuck At Sizzler While...
Tacoma, WA - While most restaurants remain open for delivery or takeout, many states have now ordered-closed all buffet-style dining establishments as...
Retail Center Declares Marshalls Law
Maddison, WI - In an effort to protect retail workers from throngs of middle-aged women taking advantage of designer products at sensible...
‘Avatar’ Sequels Suspend Filming In New Zealand After Testing Negative For...
Christ Church, New Zealand - Filming of James Cameron's long-in-the-works Avatar sequels came to an abrupt halt Monday amid fears that no...
President Comforts Nation With Fireside Tweets
Palm Beach, FL - In an effort to calm an increasingly panicked nation, President Trump announced Thursday his plan to address his...
Endorsement: Mike Bloomberg Is The Only Candidate With The Integrity And...
We at Whiskeyleaks have worked hard to establish a reputation for integrity and truth-seeking in our hard-hitting journalism. We've always found it...
Pence Confident Coronavirus Reversible With The Right Therapy
Washington, D.C. — In the midst of nerve-racking reports that a global pandemic is inevitable, President Trump announced Wednesday that Vice President...