Port-au-Prince, Haiti – Haitian President Jovenel Moise stunned the international community Friday with the issuance of an executive order barring the entry of any and all ‘shithole presidents’ to the country.

“Why would we as a nation wish to be visited by a hole, out of which comes shit?” asked President Moise. “A hole that spews the shit of so many animals… the bull… the horse… even THE BEAR… can contribute nothing to our beautiful island republic. It can only make us uglier, more corrupt and less safe. Also, shitholes smell.”

While it is not yet entirely clear which of the world’s presidents are subject to the ban, the Haitian government did make an explicit offer of reward and immunity to any pissholes with compromising audio/video material on shitholes.