Beautiful! Teen Thought Murdered Until Parents Found Her Suicide Pinterest Page

Whiskeyleaks.net
If this story doesn’t warm your heart, you are clearly a robot or a German - The heartbroken parents of 15-year-old Andrea Stith were desperate for answers after their beloved daughter was found asphyxiated in the trunk of her boyfriend’s car last week. Under the circumstances, they were naturally somewhat suspicious that foul play had occurred. That was until...

Report: Dad’s Comments On Facebook Actually Pretty Funny

Cedar Park, TX - 15-year-old Ainsley Palmer was reportedly shocked Tuesday evening after discovering that her father’s comments on her Facebook post were actually pretty funny. “I love my dad,” Ainsley stated. “But he’s pretty lame, in general. So when I saw a notification pop up and thought of my all my friends seeing his corny puns and...

Tamagotchi Wedged Between Bed And Wall For Past 18 Years Survived By Eating Own Poop Emojis

Cherry Hill, NJ - Following a string of tough setbacks, 31-year-old Jessie Boyer moved back in with her parents Friday only to make a miraculous finding in her childhood bedroom: Her long lost Tamagotchi virtual pet, missing for some 18 years, pinned against the wall behind her headboard... STILL ALIVE! “When I heard that faint beeping sound... I thought I...

Disgraced Woman Admits Exaggerating How Blessed She Is On Instagram

East Bay, CA - Insta-wife and mother of two, Maddison Klein, pleaded guilty Wednesday to lying to her 2,000+ Instagram followers by using misleading hashtags such as #soblessed, #livingmybestlife, and #besthubbyever under dozens of posts; when in fact, she was neither so blessed nor living her best life. Outside the courthouse Klein broke down in tears as she...

Single Mother Could Get So Much Action With Son Out of Way

Warren, MI - Multiple sources confirmed Tuesday that 28-year-old X-ray technician Dana Timmreck would be getting some serious action if only her five-year-old son Stefan were out of the picture. "I don’t want to be disrespectful to someone’s mother," neighbor David Smith explained. "But Dana has an amazing body. Especially considering she had a baby. It’s like you can’t...

Man Who Received Save-The-Date But Not Actual Invitation Unsure How To Proceed

Lambertville, NJ - Local electrician Joseph Chapman was reportedly unsure how to proceed Tuesday as his friend's wedding, for which he received a save-the-date but not an actual invitation, draws near. "It's less than a month away and I know they already sent out invitations because I saw one on my buddy's fridge when I was at his cookout...

Woman Stabs Boyfriend Who Called Her Crazy; Fails To See Irony

Huntington Beach, CA - 29 year old Tracy Robinson shocked friends and neighbors Thursday after allegedly stabbing her boyfriend Jake Reid 12 times for calling her crazy; evidently failing to recognize any irony. "She’s always seemed perfectly normal to me," next door neighbor Sidney Jenkins told reporters. "But each stab wound inflicted does seem to reinforce Jake’s central argument...

Local Hero Swipes Right On Woman With Only Neck-Up Photos

Los Angeles, CA - Adam Miller shocked friends and family Tuesday when the 32-year-old freelance public relations rep heroically swiped right on the Tinder profile of a woman whom witnesses report had "only neck-up photos for him to go off of." "I’ve never seen anything like it," best friend, Leon McNally described. "She had a pretty face. But I...

Local Man Only Needs One More Bump

Chicago, IL - As the sun began to rise over a decadent Bridgeport house party Saturday morning, local server Dylan Christensen reported tremendous certainty that he in fact only needs one more bump. "I have a bit of a drive back to Ukrainian Village," Christensen relayed. "And I don't have to start the brunch shift for another four hours....

Hilarious Man On Facebook Leaves Sick Burn Under Woman’s Post About Being Raped

BROOKLYN, NY- Up-and-coming local stand-up comic Edward Figone raised eyebrows Sunday evening when he left the hilarious comment: "#humblebrag" under Facebook friend, Leah Cooper’s post about how she had recently been sexually assaulted walking home from work. "I was just scrolling through the feed and the word ‘rape’ caught my eye," Figone explained. "She was blabbering on about how...