Whiskeyleaks.net

Thousand Oaks, CA – Your Facebook friend, James, was in shock early Thursday morning after learning that a tragic mass shooting happened the previous night at an establishment, right across the street from the Ralphs where he has done his shopping on more than one occasion.

“I have no words,” revealed the traumatized young man at the beginning of his 116-word post. “Thank you all for your concern but honestly, I’m just numb. You hear about these shootings all the time but you never imagine something so horrific could happen so close to a place where, just last year, you picked up wine and a baguette on your way to a party in Malibu.”

James, who marked himself “safe” from his apartment 11 miles from the scene of the shooting, also marked himself “safe” from the recent wildfires in Northern California as well as last year’s Boko Haram child kidnappings.

James’ mother in Connecticut, who added that she’s just been so worried about him, also commented with a gif of Groot from Guardian’s of The Galaxy shaking his hips; no word on whether or not that was intentional.