Seattle, WA – Following a game in which he suffered a powerful blow to the head, Seahawks’ star quarterback Russell Wilson shocked reporters and teammates alike by making it through an entire post-game press conference without once mentioning God.
“Man, I’ve never seen anything like it,” relayed teammate Paul Richardson. “Russell always opens and closes his pressers by giving all credit, glory, and praise to his Lord and savior. Tonight he didn’t even explain how Jesus orchestrated the game-winning drive. I’m actually concerned.”
“The press corp was all kinda stunned,” echoed Seattle Times reporter Jayson Jenks. “He just talked about the game like a normal guy. He didn’t mention his daily relationship with Christ even once. It’s like he completely forgot why he was there. He should definitely be in the league’s concussion protocol.”
When reached for a follow-up interview the next day, Wilson admitted that he had indeed suffered a concussion during the game, but stated that he had already healed it himself with “miracle water.” Upon hearing this news, friends and teammates expressed great relief that the apparent symptoms of the concussion had subsided.