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Dating can be exhausting when you're an incel. After swiping left on 90 percent of Tinder profiles because the prospects are too fat, too tall, too ethnic, too old, too successful, too sexually experienced, wear too much make-up, have tattoos, are on a dating site, or have an inadequate hip-to-waist ratio; you are left with only a few acceptable...

My name is Miss Igloo. And I drowned my first litter. For nearly five years, I buried those words in a hairball of secrecy and shame. But today, at long last, I open my almost-lips and speak them publicly for the very first time. I got pregnant at six-months-old. And I drowned my first litter. And my only regret is...

I’m not a racist, but I don’t understand why black people keep complaining about being followed around my candle shop by security, when all they would have to do is buy something expensive immediately upon arrival so I’d know they aren’t a thief. Just the other day, this young African American woman walked into my store, loitered for over 90...

We’ve interviewed experienced housekeepers on matters, such as how much to tip, which requests are considered rude, and how much sexual harassment is too much.

We all know that glory is fleeting in this administration. But recent events have been a true wake-up call to those of us who too often take our White House colleagues for granted. They say tragedies come in threes; but you never expect them to happen so close together, or so close to home. It all started 10 days ago,...

Just three years ago, a debate over the color of a dress nearly broke the internet. Now, a four-second audio clip of the Greek keyboardist known as "Yanni" has sparked an even fiercer debate; leaving best friends questioning each others’ sanity, 20-year marriages ending, and in a few cases, people emptying bottles of Drano into their own ears. Listen to...

Spirit Airlines? More like Break-My-Spirit Airlines! But if you find yourself traveling on this bare-bones, no frills, meat shipment tube version of unprepared Top Ramen; you clearly have no money... and even less dignity. So here are 8 ways you can make the most of it. 1. Layers! Layers! Layers! Wear all your luggage on your person. Spirit Charges exorbitant fees...

By Bart O'Kavanaugh I was deeply honored to stand at the White House July 9 with my wife, Whatsherface, and my daughters, they know who they are, to accept President Trump’s nomination to succeed my former boss and total fucking madman Justice Anthony Kennedy, on the United States Supreme Court of Beer. My mom, who I call Mom—one of the...

Enthusiasts of the flavor of Tide Pods often compare its aromatic aftertaste, to that of the fresh crisp, universally adored herb cilantro. Thanks to extensive recent experimentation conducted by pre-teens on Youtube, scientists have finally learned why Tide Pods taste like cilantro for some 4-14 percent of the population. These "supertasters" merely possess a more refined palate than the rest...

We’ve all been there. Behind your desk at 8:15 when you just took your last shot of Jamo at 5:36. Or maybe you had 3 too many martinis at lunch and couldn't just ditch the rest of the day cause you left your car keys at the office. However it happened, you are now drunk at work. While many...