Matt Damon Rumored To Play 4 Thai Navy Seals In Upcoming Cave-Rescue Film
Burbank, CA - Just hours after news broke that all 12 members of the Wild Boar soccer team, along with their coach, have been rescued from a cave in Thailand after two harrowing weeks, Legendary Entertainment has already secured the film rights to the story. Even more intriguing was a tweet from Matt Damon agent Patrick Whitesell revealing that the Goodwill...
OP-ED: Maybe If That Black Woman Would Buy An Expensive Item From My Store, Mall Security Wouldn’t Follow her Around
I’m not a racist, but I don’t understand why black people keep complaining about being followed around my candle shop by security, when all they would have to do is buy something expensive immediately upon arrival so I’d know they aren’t a thief.
Just the other day, this young African American woman walked into my store, loitered for over 90...
My Hair And Teeth Are Falling Out; Should I Be Worried?
Dear Whiskeyleaks,
I’ve always had thick, lustrous hair and good teeth. But recently my hair and teeth have started falling out at an alarming rate. I know I shouldn’t jump to conclusions or do anything rash, but after doing some internet research on my symptoms, I’m getting really concerned. My question: Is there actually something wrong with me? Or is...
Cummy Bears? Say “I Love You” This Valentines Day With Candy Made From Your Essence
What do you get for that special woman who has it all? How about a “personalized” twist on a classic childhood treat! Yes, there is actually a company that will turn your stinky man sauce into sweet, chewy, edible “Cummy Bears™.”
Sure, you could just get her a boring ol' box of chocolates for Valentine's Day. But how sexy would...
LAPD “Lip Sync Challenge” Ruined When Black Camera Man Shot By Cadet
Police departments across the nation have made great strides in lightening their image in recent weeks by participating in the online viral "police lip sync challenge." By showing the soft and silly side of the Nation's law-enforcement officers, the challenge has succeeded in easing racial tensions and connecting officers to the communities they serve. Sadly, those efforts hit a...
Make Sure You Tell Your White House Colleagues How Much They Mean To You; You Could Wake Up Tomorrow And They’re Gone
We all know that glory is fleeting in this administration. But recent events have been a true wake-up call to those of us who too often take our White House colleagues for granted. They say tragedies come in threes; but you never expect them to happen so close together, or so close to home.
It all started 10 days ago,...
Genius! Enterprising THOTs Are Leasing Out Ad-Space On Their Lower Backs
If there were a way to expose your brand to a guaranteed fifty unique sets of eyes per week: Each for 15-20 minutes of undivided focus, specifically targeted to your desired demographic, what would that be worth to you?
Local Slut Mckenzie Banks realized she had "struck oil" when a stoner dude whose name might have been Kyle finished on...
F*cket List! 10 Sex Things Every Person Should Try Before They Die
Sex is great, but with everything going on these days (looking at you, #metoo movement), most of the good sex things are off the table. But fear not! we've compiled a list of probably-legal and oh-so-exciting twists on your favorite activity: pounding. So even if you never got the chance to roofie-and-romp, you can still have a sexually deviant...
Adorable! Millions of Wild Rats Gather To Fuck At Sizzler While Humans Stuck At Home
Tacoma, WA - While most restaurants remain open for delivery or takeout, many states have now ordered-closed all buffet-style dining establishments as part of the effort to curb the spread of Covid 19, E. Coli, and the acute depression brought on by tasting artificial crab meat for the first time. In addition to the obvious benefits to...
16 Things Your Cleaning Lady Wishes You Knew…OMG I’m So Guilty of #12!
We’ve interviewed experienced housekeepers on matters, such as how much to tip, which requests are considered rude, and how much sexual harassment is too much.









