Thursday, April 25, 2024

16 Things Your Cleaning Lady Wishes You Knew…OMG I’m So Guilty of #12!

We’ve interviewed experienced housekeepers on matters, such as how much to tip, which requests are considered rude, and how much sexual harassment is too much.

LAPD “Lip Sync Challenge” Ruined When Black Camera Man Shot By Cadet

Police departments across the nation have made great strides in lightening their image in recent weeks by participating in the online viral "police lip sync challenge." By showing the soft and silly side of the Nation's law-enforcement officers, the challenge has succeeded in easing racial tensions and connecting officers to the communities they serve. Sadly, those efforts hit a...

Science Explains Why Tide Pods Taste Like Cilantro To Some, Soap To Others

Enthusiasts of the flavor of Tide Pods often compare its aromatic aftertaste, to that of the fresh crisp, universally adored herb cilantro. Thanks to extensive recent experimentation conducted by pre-teens on Youtube, scientists have finally learned why Tide Pods taste like cilantro for some 4-14 percent of the population. These "supertasters" merely possess a more refined palate than the rest...

OP-ED: A Man Can’t Even Hug A Female Now Without Her Noticing That He’s Raping Her

The cultural rules of dating have changed so rapidly in my lifetime that I often feel like an alien who cannot keep up with the human customs... bleep blorp meep boop LOL! Maybe I'm just old fashioned and out of touch but in my day, women wanted to be pursued and seduced. And men felt secure knowing they wouldn't...

Internet Divided Over Whether Yanni Sounds Like Music Or Ear Torture

Just three years ago, a debate over the color of a dress nearly broke the internet. Now, a four-second audio clip of the Greek keyboardist known as "Yanni" has sparked an even fiercer debate; leaving best friends questioning each others’ sanity, 20-year marriages ending, and in a few cases, people emptying bottles of Drano into their own ears. Listen to...

Matt Damon Rumored To Play 4 Thai Navy Seals In Upcoming Cave-Rescue Film

Burbank, CA - Just hours after news broke that all 12 members of the Wild Boar soccer team, along with their coach, have been rescued from a cave in Thailand after two harrowing weeks, Legendary Entertainment has already secured the film rights to the story. Even more intriguing was a tweet from Matt Damon agent Patrick Whitesell revealing that the Goodwill...

Genius! Enterprising THOTs Are Leasing Out Ad-Space On Their Lower Backs

If there were a way to expose your brand to a guaranteed fifty unique sets of eyes per week: Each for 15-20 minutes of undivided focus, specifically targeted to your desired demographic, what would that be worth to you? Local Slut Mckenzie Banks realized she had "struck oil" when a stoner dude whose name might have been Kyle finished on...

OP-ED: Maybe If That Black Woman Would Buy An Expensive Item From My Store, Mall Security Wouldn’t Follow her Around

I’m not a racist, but I don’t understand why black people keep complaining about being followed around my candle shop by security, when all they would have to do is buy something expensive immediately upon arrival so I’d know they aren’t a thief. Just the other day, this young African American woman walked into my store, loitered for over 90...

Cummy Bears? Say “I Love You” This Valentines Day With Candy Made From Your Essence

What do you get for that special woman who has it all? How about a “personalized” twist on a classic childhood treat! Yes, there is actually a company that will turn your stinky man sauce into sweet, chewy, edible “Cummy Bears™.” Sure, you could just get her a boring ol' box of chocolates for Valentine's Day. But how sexy would...

Op-ed: The Toy Under The Couch Is Never Coming Back

It happened again. I swore it never would, but it did. I lost control of my favorite scrunchy foil ball and it went under the couch; just out of paw's reach. And this time I know it's never coming back. This was the longest it had ever been in my possession and I was certain I had learned how...