Saturday, July 25, 2026

OP-ED: I Drowned My First Litter; And It Was The Right Thing To Do

My name is Miss Igloo. And I drowned my first litter. For nearly five years, I buried those words in a hairball of secrecy and shame. But today, at long last, I open my almost-lips and speak them publicly for the very first time. I got pregnant at six-months-old. And I drowned my first litter. And my only regret is...

OP-ED: Maybe If That Black Woman Would Buy An Expensive Item From My Store, Mall Security Wouldn’t Follow her Around

I’m not a racist, but I don’t understand why black people keep complaining about being followed around my candle shop by security, when all they would have to do is buy something expensive immediately upon arrival so I’d know they aren’t a thief. Just the other day, this young African American woman walked into my store, loitered for over 90...

OP-ED: A Man Can’t Even Hug A Female Now Without Her Noticing That He’s Raping Her

The cultural rules of dating have changed so rapidly in my lifetime that I often feel like an alien who cannot keep up with the human customs... bleep blorp meep boop LOL! Maybe I'm just old fashioned and out of touch but in my day, women wanted to be pursued and seduced. And men felt secure knowing they wouldn't...

8 Ways To Be Drunk At Work Without Noticing Your Co-Workers Noticed

We’ve all been there. Behind your desk at 8:15 when you just took your last shot of Jamo at 5:36. Or maybe you had 3 too many martinis at lunch and couldn't just ditch the rest of the day cause you left your car keys at the office. However it happened, you are now drunk at work. While many...

Science Explains Why Tide Pods Taste Like Cilantro To Some, Soap To Others

Enthusiasts of the flavor of Tide Pods often compare its aromatic aftertaste, to that of the fresh crisp, universally adored herb cilantro. Thanks to extensive recent experimentation conducted by pre-teens on Youtube, scientists have finally learned why Tide Pods taste like cilantro for some 4-14 percent of the population. These "supertasters" merely possess a more refined palate than the rest...

Lena Dunham: “Some of My Best Friends Are Women”

Self-proclaimed feminist Lena Dunham has found herself in the midst of a yet another messy controversy following comments she made on twitter Monday defending her friend and co-worker Murray Miller after he was accused of rape by an actress, who was 17 at the time. The collective outrage toward Dunham did, however, seem to subside after the "Girls" creator...

Op-ed: The Toy Under The Couch Is Never Coming Back

It happened again. I swore it never would, but it did. I lost control of my favorite scrunchy foil ball and it went under the couch; just out of paw's reach. And this time I know it's never coming back. This was the longest it had ever been in my possession and I was certain I had learned how...

8 Hacks For Flying Spirit This Holiday Season (That They Don’t Want You To Know)

Spirit Airlines? More like Break-My-Spirit Airlines! But if you find yourself traveling on this bare-bones, no frills, meat shipment tube version of unprepared Top Ramen; you clearly have no money... and even less dignity. So here are 8 ways you can make the most of it. 1. Layers! Layers! Layers! Wear all your luggage on your person. Spirit Charges exorbitant fees...

Internet Divided Over Whether Yanni Sounds Like Music Or Ear Torture

Just three years ago, a debate over the color of a dress nearly broke the internet. Now, a four-second audio clip of the Greek keyboardist known as "Yanni" has sparked an even fiercer debate; leaving best friends questioning each others’ sanity, 20-year marriages ending, and in a few cases, people emptying bottles of Drano into their own ears. Listen to...