In an apparent effort to appease unhappy iPhone users off-put by some of the more draconian clauses hidden in the most recent update of their operating system’s terms and conditions, Apple announced Monday that it plans to introduce a new “Agree To Disagree” option.
“We simply cannot continue losing our loyal customers to our competitor and their far superior products,” explained Apple general counsel Bruce Sewell. “This is Apple’s way of saying: ‘Hey, we can work this out in a way where you can feel that your grievances have been heard while still signing away all your privacy, intellectual property rights, and any unborn children whose names begin with H through S.’”
According to the results of a recent focus group study, IOS users were most dissatisfied by “how creepy it is that they have access to the microphone and camera in my phone even when I’m not using it.” A large majority of study participants also took issue with the need to rely upon random Facebook and Twitter posts in order to know what is writtern in the terms and conditions, since no one actually reads it.
“Selling my personal browsing activity to advertisers and allowing the NSA to read my iMessages is really messed up,” one study-subject reported. “It’s against my beliefs both as a democratic-socialist who does not wish to feed the corporate kleptocracy any information they could use to subjugate me, and as a regular dude who cares about the integrity of my questionable browsing history. But I guess as long as there’s a way for me to let them know I feel deeply resentful about signing it, maybe Apple will eventually see that I’m a person and not a sheep.”
The “Agree To Disagree” option is said to be included in the next update, however, Apple is still working on further-developing their new face ID feature to capture the level of apprehensiveness and vulnerability iPhone X users feel about using face recognition technology.