Detroit, MI – After months of deliberately avoiding listening to his drug dealer’s demo, local barber Chris Delaponte reported Tuesday he was stunned to find that the group known as “Buttercup,” fronted by ace illicit pharmaceutical entrepreneur Todd Filo, was actually really really good.

“I was dreading listening to it,” Delaponte explained. “‘Cause I’m really bad at faking like I like something. But also this guy gives me a great deal on strong-ass weed and has the best molly in town. So I can’t tell him that his band sucks. But also he keeps asking me to listen to it. It was a terrifying dilemma.”

Delaponte’s relief upon finally listening to the demo was overwhelming: “It was incredible. They had an early Velvet Underground vibe but with more 70’s Bowie electronic influence. Not only did I not have to worry about losing the best dealer I’ver ever had, but I actually found a new band I really dig. I mean I would still go to Buttercup’s shows even if I didn’t have to pretend to be friends with Todd.”

Delaponte emphasized that he had not even smoked yet when he listened to the demo. “I normally don’t light up at Todd’s place,” he reported. “‘Cause I’m not a fiend like that. I can wait till I get home. But Buttercup’s music actually made me want to be high; which is the real standard for greatness, right?”