Long Island, NY – Newly appointed White House Communications Director Anthony Scaramucci shocked observers Friday afternoon when he behaved like a perfect gentleman at the back-yard tea party he attended with his 6-year-old daughter and her friends. Witnesses reported hearing not a single cuss, insult, or death threat from Scaramucci at any point during the lovely event. “Yeah, I try to be on my best behavior when I’m around these little fucking cunts,” Scaramucci whispered to reporters as the party wrapped up. “It’s important for parents, and especially public figures, to be good examples for children. But I’ll tell you this, if I’m still here when Megan’s dad comes to pick her up, that cock-sucker is a fucking dead man.”